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Reg Holmes of Norley

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The Occupier

Having seen what an average TV program had to offer Reg had decided to do without a television many years ago. Only recently was he heard muttering something about the possibility of getting a set when he gets old.
The authorities, naturally suspicious of people not registered as holding a TV license, kept on sending letters addressed to 'The Occupier', reminding him of his duty to obtain a TV license. Reg, on the other hand, thought that whoever kept on sending these reminders should have first politely enquired whether a TV set ever existed at that address. What followed was a twenty year long regular exchange of letters which could probably fill a fascinating book. We picked a couple of examples.
At one point the TV licensing office asked The Occupier to fill a form which they needed 'In order to facilitate the smooth running of their organisation'. In reply Reg told them he was honoured by being considered capable of helping with their problems and would gladly oblige subject to a fee of £1 payable in advance.
After that there was a long period of silence but, eventually, the familiar reminders starting flowing in again. What finally put a stop to them was the following letter:

Sirs,
Thank you for the reminder that I have no TV license. I do confess that I do sometimes wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat realising that I have no such license. I am then unable to fall asleep again and lie awake most of the night. Surely, at my age in particular, this is very damaging to my health
Could you please help me by sending me your reminders on a more regular basis say once or even twice a week. I will then be less likely to forget that I have no license and, hopefully, get some sleep.
Sincerely yours
The Occupier


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