Well, I was on the British rails for about 30 years and I was anxious to retire really. I was
determined to retire at 62 because that was the earliest age I could get away and still keep my
privileges and that sort of thing, get my pension you see. Anyway, I was determined to go at 62
when I heard a whisper that five of the boxes, including mine, were going to close down. So I
decided to stay for another six months and qualify for the redundancy pay. So I did that and
eventually I got the letter saying that my box is to close and giving me three options for
other jobs which they considered suitable and were in the area.
One of them was a job shunting at the Yard at Northwich. I had to make excuses of course
because if I just said I did not want the jobs they could say I was making myself unemployed.
So I pointed out that, at my time of life I would not be strong enough to lift the heavy chains
and other things involved in shunting. So that was that. The other one was a box on the other side of
Northwich in a place called Lostock Gralam. I looked through the trains time table
and found out that I could not possibly get there for the early turn in the morning
nor get back home from the late turn. So that was alright. The other one did worry me because
it was only three miles from my home.
Cuttington station that was. I was supposed to be a glorified station master
and booking clerk and everything else - cleaner and so on. It did worry me a bit that because
it was within walking distance, you see, according to the powers that be. Anyway I got round
that by saying that, as the decimal currency has just come in at that time, I could not be
expected, at my time of life to master this changeover. I was constantly making mistakes when
going shopping and had to be put right by people since I was paying too little or too much and
that sort of thing. I therefor doubted my ability to take on the job. Anyway, I put it all down
in a letter and kept it in the box till the last minute because I did not want it kicking
around in the local office at Northwich on its way to headquarters in Liverpool.
Before I could give the letter to the guard on the train to deliver, the area manager himself
came along. He was a real Irish gentlemen called O'Reilly. He came in, said good morning, I said good
morning. 'I was just passing by' he said ' I wonder if you have made your mind up about the
letter we sent you, what are you going to choose as an alternative job?'. ' I have actually
written it down' I replied, 'I was going to put it on the next train'.
'Oh' he said 'I will have a look at it now'. So I gave it to him. He opened it, put his specs
on and read it. Then he looked at me over his specs and said ' You cunning bugger' , 'Pardon'
I replied , 'You cunning bugger' he repeated, 'you have been reading all the agreements and
everything else about this'. 'Well' I said, 'you know me, you know that I never put pen to paper unless I
know what I am talking about' .'No' he replied, 'I give you that, alright' . He read it again
and then looked at me with a little gleam of triumph in his eyes and said 'I have just got the
job for you Reg. I could do with a fellow who could write English like this and make valid
excuses to deal with the higher-ups in the office and also deal with public
complaints'.
I looked at him and said, more in sorrow than in anger, 'What a pity. I did not write this
letter, I can't write English like that, a friend of mine came to visit me, a clever chap,
got a degree in English you know. I told him what I wanted and he wrote it in good English for
me.'. He looked at me, put his specs on and read the letter again. He then looked at me over
his specs and said 'Reg, you are not only a cunning bugger you are a lying bugger as well.'.
'Well' I said, 'that's my story and I am sticking to it'. ' I am awfully glad I came this
morning,' he replied, 'I take it that you want out, you want to leave the Railway and get the
redundancy money'. 'Yes ' I said . 'Well ' he said, 'I will do my best to help you, smooth the
passage of your claim as much as I can if only in self defence. I would not like to have a
bugger like you working for me doing a job he did not want doing. My life would not be worth it'.
