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J. Reggie Holmes' Birthday Song (to the tune of Home, Sweet Home) Written for his 90th birthday by Margaret Main and updated annually If performed or reproduced, please donate 2-00 pounds to the Royal National Lifeboat Institution or to Cancer Research If you should go to Flaxmere- Be careful where you roam Show respect for Flaxmere Moss- Or answer to Reg Holmes For he's the only Commoner Allowed to cut the peat And if you trample on the Moss You'll find you're on his beat (Chorus) Holmes, Holmes, John Reggie Holmes Of all the Rural Rogues I know There's none like Reggie Holmes A lifetime Vegetarian He's wiry, neat and trim But fighting with AUTHORITY Is meat and drink to him Bureaucrats who came from towns And thought themselves 'The Tops' Retired with a nervous breakdown After trying Reg to out-fox -Chorus Ground-greedy men, with pole of wood, Have tried to fence The Moss in, Reg saw them off - as well he would He's a demon, if you cross him. But for friends who go to visit him The door is open wide. He'll hug you, bid you 'Welcome' And tell you 'come Inside' -Chorus So, if you're 'Rat-Race' weary, And you're needing warmth and calm, There's no cottage that's more cheery, Where you're safe and free from harm, Or walk with him to Hatchmere To feed the swans and geese, (Ignore the 'PRIVATE' sign, dear, As Reg does - with great ease), -Chorus Ninty-six years of joys and woes Have flowed beneath his bridge - And my affection for him grows, Alas - not for his fridge! He's told me tales of long ago - His life's an open book - His fridge the only part I know At which I DARE NOT LOOK! -Chorus He loves to see the forest bloom And watch the wild birds soar He's a great axe in the bathroom Three shillelaghs by the door! He lives alone without a qualm - He's nobody's fool He's full of wily, rural charm, He's as stubborn as a mule! -Chorus To the Rambler, The Signal-man, To the Song-writer of note- Let's raise our glasses while we can And give Reg - a toast. To the Commander who guards the Peat Our good wishes we send So off your butts , and on your feet- I give you Reg - our Friend! -Chorus |